You Have the Power to Transform Your Marriage
Hi, I'm Lisa Kneller and I'm a Marriage and Relationship Coach for Women in Midlife
I believe women have the intelligence and strength to create positive change in their relationships. If you're feeling unhappy or unfulfilled, you're not alone. I can help you rediscover the spark and build a marriage you truly love.
I offer a safe and confidential space for you to share your story. Together, we'll explore your options and create a plan for moving forward, whether that involves reigniting your current relationship or making the best decision for your future.
Let's Talk
A little bit on marriage
I believe that marriage is a sacred relationship and it shouldn't be so hard...but sometimes it is. I have been married for a very long time and I'll be honest, there are times when I thought about divorce or thought we weren't really meant to be together. My husband and I have definitely had our share of fights, arguments, disagreements, and disconnectedness. Somehow, we have made it through.
When we get married, we start out with so many hopes and dreams. We make this commitment to stay together (endure the relationship) but rarely do we make the commitment to grow together.
Marriage is a spiritual union...and it needs attention, awareness, caregiving, and intention.
We do it for love. We want to love and be loved. It's that simple. What happens between "I do" and "I no longer do"?
There are a lot of things...work and stress, in-laws, relationship neglect, finances, becoming parents, health issues, growing apart, and sex (or lack of sex).
Sometimes we get a bit off track...and sometimes, completely derailed.
Here's the thing...if you are struggling in your marriage but still care about it, it's probably not too late. If you can envision something better, you can create that.
Women have the power to observe, learn, shift, and do what's necessary to get a marriage back on track. You are amazing, and I like to say, it begins with you.
One person can be the starting point for a better marriage.
Our story
I'll start at the beginning because it's kind of cute.
My husband and I met during junior high school playing spin-the-bottle at a friend's house. Obviously the girl's parents weren't home, but somehow we kissed in that little circle and that was the extent of our communication until high school.
I applied for a job at Walgreens and low and behold, he was assisting the manager in hiring. Because I was a cute blond, I got hired. He hired all the pretty girls. Anyway, when we first started working at the cash register, we had that funny realization that we had played spin-the-bottle. We laughed and pretty much immediately got along. We became friends fairly quickly but because I was dating someone, he was not a prospect for me at the time.
Several years later when I turned 20 and he was 21, we fell in love. That was the beginning of an eight year courtship.
We dated all that time and a couple of years were long-distance. No cell phones or computers, just love letters.
In 1986 we finally got married and didn't have our first child until 1990. So we had a good start...lots of knowing each other and then the family came later.
We really did have a friendship first, and that is the most important part of keeping a marriage together. The friendship has to be there. Still, we have had our share of problems, arguments, hateful moments, disconnects, and times where we've wondered, "should we stay in this?"
The Reason We've Made It...So Far
Whenever I tell my husband we're doing good, he says, "so far." LOL I mean 38 years plus 8 years of dating is a pretty long time, so I doubt we're going to get divorced at this point...but you never know!
Seriously, I believe we've made it because both of us wanted to avoid the PAIN of divorce. There were many divorces in my family before we got married and a couple in his family after we got married, so we were not strangers to the idea of divorce. We witnessed the pain.
We really do like and respect each other. We enjoy talking with each other a lot. And we do have chemistry but not much in common as far as what activities we like and enjoy. I'll share all that in a blog post.
Also, we both decided we would stay married and that divorce wasn't going to be an option for us. The truth is, it's always an option. I knew that and I was glad that I had confidence in knowing that if he left or we got divorced, I would be able to take care of myself.
I think it's a good idea to keep your finger on the pulse of your relationship always; however, if you don't think you've done that, it's a good idea to assess where your marriage is right now. Check in and see how things really look and do that with my Midlife Marriage Check-In. Click the link below for access.
Gain insight with one conversation
If you're feeling the nudge to get some help with your marriage, let's have an exploratory conversation. I am passionate about helping people have better relationships and I know it's possible to improve a marriage with some simple tools and a commitment to learning. It's very expensive to get divorced. Not just from the divorce part, but the toll it takes on your heart, your energy, the potential cost to your kids (if you have them), and also the dog! Give yourself the gift of exploration by booking a free discovery call with me. Click the button below to schedule.
All The Credentials
You may not care about this, but it might give you confidence to know that I have a little experience and am qualified to coach.
- Bachelor of Science in Speech Communications from Southern Illinois University
- Graduate Certificate of Completion in Life Coaching Psychology from Grand Canyon University
- Certified Insight Coach by the Insight Coaching Academy
- Certificate of Completion in Applied Neuroscience from the Neuroscience School
- RYT 200 Yoga Teacher Certification plus 20 years of teaching yoga (mind, body, spirit)
- Influenced by Brooke Castillo, founder of The Life Coach School, Stacey Boehman, Michael Neill (Supercoach), Steve Chander (The Godfather of Coaching), Steve Hardison (Coach of Steve Chandler), John Strasser, Byron Katie (The Work), Shirzad Chamine (Positive Intelligence), Brene Brown, Esther Perel, The Enneagram and its teachers, and many more - too many to mention
- All my spiritual and psychology books that help me understand humanity and how we operate
- 38 years of marriage and continual studies in marriage and relationships with John Gottman, PhD, Esther Perel, Emily Nagoski, and others
